Dear Nesta,

HOW YOU, DEAR HEART? I still hey, tryin' to keep. But girl, de rain got we chippin! Dis minute de sun out, de nex' de rain down in buckets an' got yuh runnin' to close-up windows yuh not too long ago open when de sun did blazin'.

But Ness, don' t'ink de rain don' fall hard – aldoh, tell de troof, I could tek it as long as it don' bring de t'under an' lightnin' when it start pourin'.

An' now dat it pourin', de bush all roun' de ole derelick buildin's is somet'ing else, girl. I read in de papers dat one o' de politicians (I t'ink um is Stephen Lashley) talkin' 'bout penalisin' de owners o' places dat allow dah bush to be all roun' duh house, 'cause as far as I concern, dat en neffin but gross negligence.

Ness, you would onderstan' hummuch 4- an' 2-foot rats does mek dem bushes duh fix place of abode. An' de rats 'bout Buhbayduss – at leas' some o' dem – runnin' 'pon de overhead wires somewhey in de City de ethuh day fuh one o' de boar-cats dat does be 'bout de area scroungin' fuh food, yuh en know?

So you could imagine – ef one o' dem rodents ketch hol' o' some poor, onsuspectin' body an' scratch or bite dem um is over to de Queen Elizabuf Horsepittle an' a period o' res' (ef dah is wuh yuh could call um) in Intensive Care.

Rodent alert!

I serious doh, duh say leptospirosis 'pon de increase agen, an' farmers gettin' warn to be careful when duh in duh groun' 'cause dese big musty rats en nuh respecter o' persons nor places. Dem in gutters, climbin' pon wires, lurkin' in trees, runnin' races t'rough de cane-field's an' people kitchen-gardins!

Duh like duh determine to tek over de islan' – dem an' de big, slimy African snails dat reproducin' at a frightenin' rate. Girl, dese is days dat ef yuh don' keep yuh eyes an' ears open, I sorry enough fuh yuh.

So yuh been readin' 'bout how we new guv'ment performin'? Well, I would say dat Haynseley Benn an' Michael Lashley really got duh ack togedduh out o' all de ministers. Yuh could see dat dem wukkin' fuh duh salaries.

I still gettin' 'nough hot air from de healf minister Estwick, doh, an' upwards to now I cyah put muh finger 'pon wuh Byer-Suckoo doin' 'cause from wuh I could see, she always 'pon TV but she got summuch t'ings 'pon she plate, she only pickin' hey an' pickin' dey.

An' de Education Minister Ronald Jones mekkin' 'nough noise but wun pronounce "TH" not ef yuh han' he dah soun' 'pon a platter an' min' you, he's de minister o' education! Ef he did gone to Brumley all like now, Mr Brumley would be turnin' in 'e grave every time 'e hear "DAT" an "DESE" an' "T'ROUGH" comin' from he lips. I really feel 'e could do a lot better wid a li'l effort, faif.

Anyhow, God bless fuh now.....

Wif Luv,

Lou